Restless Night
by Jacqueline Spicer
Summary: No summary. Just read. Is a Rick x Carl story, so if you don't like that kind of thing, don't proceed.


_Slowly getting back into these two. :3_

 _Read at your own risk._

 _This contains father/son incest. If you don't like that, don't read this._

 **;-;**

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…" Rick grumbled in his sleep, tossing and turning on the makeshift bed upon the hard floor. There was nothing he could do to stop Negan from taking what they had, doing what he wanted. His reign was a constant reminder, haunting Rick even in his sleep.

"No… I… I can't… NO!" He exclaimed, jolting up suddenly inhaling deep breaths. He was covered in sweat and scared shitless at the realistic dream that bothered him most… The reply of Glenn's death… The situation of him almost having to cut Carl's hand off.

"Carl… CARL!" He looked around frantically only to find the boy still beside him, sleeping soundly.

Rick brushed his bangs back, and rubbed his eyes as he tried to calm himself down. Negan was a terror, a monster that needed to be stopped. However, Rick felt himself weak and helpless unable to do anything about this threat. All he could do was submit like a dog to keep his people safe; to keep Carl safe. He couldn't see anyone else die, especially his boy.

He felt himself begin to crumble and his body shake with silent sobs that soon turned into actual tears and soft whimpers left him now and then. He was a broken man and he had gotten them all into this mess. Could he forgive himself? He wasn't sure anymore.

"H-huh… D-dad?" Carl muttered, as he shifted under the blanket.

Rick lowered his hands from his eyes to look over at Carl. "Go back to sleep babe" He attempted to say in his average voice, though it was shaky.

Carl rubbed his eyes, as he turned to face Rick. "What's wrong?" He asked with concern, having been woken up by his dad's sobs.

Rick clenched his teeth. He hated for anyone to see him break, especially Carl. He was so many things to the boy; a father, a lover, a hero. "I-I'm fine."

After his eyes adjusted to the darkness, Carl propped himself up on his elbow, eyes locked on Rick. "Don't lie to me… Tell me, please." He pleaded. He hated to see Rick like this, it made his heart ache.

Rick released a soft sigh and nodded. "Just a nightmare, about Negan, what's happened… What could happen… I just…"

Carl tugged on his shirt, signaling for him to lay back down. Reluctantly, Rick did so, eyes locked with Carl's.

"I've let you down… I'm weak." He swallowed deeply "I'am so sorry Carl… I never wanted this."

Carl brought a hand to caress Rick's cheek, his eyes staring deeply into Rick's very soul. Tears, emotion; there was still a heart left in this man.

"It's okay. There was nothing we could have done at the time… But now, we will." The boys brows furrowed, revenge flaring in the one eye he had left.

"No" Rick shook his head. "We can't do anything… We can only wake up each day and hope it won't be our last."

Carl frowned. "No. We'll fight. We'll figure it out, we'll make a plan, we'll take them down… Just like we did before… If Negan is gone, then there is no fear to control his people. They are nothing without him… All we have to do is kill Negan. It will work"

Rick studied the boy for a moment, giving a half hearted smile as he reached out, and fingers caressing the boy's chin. "You're so brave… I wonder now, who you got that from… Not me."

Carl gave a lopsided grin. "That's what you think… But, we can do it. We have Michonne… Maggie… We'll get Daryl back too. We'll be unstoppable. We have to be, it's our only hope."

Rick thought about it for a moment and gave a soft nod. "Just promise me that you won't do anything reckless… I couldn't live with myself if I lost you. Promise me…"

Carl brought uncomfortable silence for a moment, than he let out a sigh. "I promise."

Rick heaved his own sigh as he wrapped his arms around the boy, pulling him in close. "…My strength… My light… I love you." He pressed his forehead against Carl's. "I still can't believe it, you have grown so much… I'm sorry you had to do so in this wretched world."

Carl looked up to him. "Dad, stop apologizing… Please. I'm not sorry. It's taught us things, made us strong… It's bonded me and you in ways that I never would've thought possible."

Rick's grip tightened around Carl, as he leaned in to lock his lips with the boy's in a gentle kiss. It lasted for a good time before Rick pulled away. He couldn't help but smile, Carl always knew what to say to make everything better. He was not only brave but he was such a smart kid.

"You should go back to sleep." He brought a hand to intertwine in Carl's soft locks, gently stroking through the strands.

"Only if you'll be okay?"

With a soft nod, Rick smiled and kissed him on the forehead this time. "I will. Don't worry. Now go to sleep. You need the rest."

Carl let out a slight yawn before snuggling up against his father's chest. "Night dad…"

"Night darlin'"

And with that, Carl began to drift off again, with the security and safety of being in his father's arms.

 **;-;**

 _There will be more of these two. But please, leave a review. :) NO FLAMES. The warning was posted so don't bitch me out if you read this afterward._


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